Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She went for a walk in the forest where she got lost and came upon a house where four managers lived. They invited her to join them for lunch of delicious, hot soup.
The first manager said "I'll eat the hot soup so you don't burn your tongue."
The second manager said "My personal chef is in the kitchen. Bring my soup now! OR ELSE!"
The third manager said "Nobody eats before I wash the floor, do the laundry, weed the garden, fix the roof leak and cut down a tree for firewood."
The fourth manager said "The soup is in the kitchen. Help yourself and please bring me a bowl too. My driver will be here in an hour and can give you a ride home."
"Ahhh, this soup is just right," she said happily and she ate it all up.
A young leader comes seeking advice:
He says: "My colleagues say that it is the responsibility of the leader to sacrifice themselves for the benefit of the organization. If I give myself up, who will lead? But if I hold myself too high, how can I be respected? It's a riddle."
The Mentor says, "Good Questions. Let's consider three examples of how leaders conduct themselves:"
One: Self-Abnegation
At the outset of a great battle, the Commanding General steps to the front lines and offers himself up for personal destruction. Then the Colonels, Majors, Captains, Lieutenants and Sergeants Major. Oh and the Privates, First Class...
These leaders show great self-sacrifice... yes? But then the Army, lacking leadership - is destroyed.
We can all call to mind the examples of Saints, Parents and self-sacrificing siblings who gave of themselves for the benefit of the family, the team or the church. Martyrdom is respected in our culture. But then... Don't we need our leaders alive and leading?
Two: Self Aggrandizement
The new CEO calls in Office Services and his personal designer, spending a few days and a cool fifty K to redesign the Executive Loo in Gold Leaf. Executive Team meetings have become a little stilted of late owing to the depositions about the allegations of the CEO's misconduct. A tense silence prevails. The boss abuses his Executive Jet privileges, returning late and hung-over from weekends out of town.
The world is full of false leaders - people who mistake the executive chair as a throne and who behave more like ancient Mongol Chieftains than sober leaders - "Responsible for the Enterprise."
Both followers and leaders sometimes mistake charisma or political skills for leadership - and pay a terrible price. "Leadership by Gorilla" is the oldest form, and may take the longest to overcome.
Three: Self Awareness
A young manager becomes a leader. Full of dedication, she works harder, longer and more intensely than anyone - staying at the office later and contributing hugely. But then, she becomes steadily more exhausted. On the way home late one night, she swerves and nearly crashes. The following week, the Chairman takes her aside, saying, "You're doing fine. Relax. We're adding space in your office for a kitchen, a private bath, a closet and a couch. When you're tired, rest. When you're hungry, eat. When you need a workout, bring the coach in. And don't be foolish; take a vacation before you cave in. We'll send a car for you!" Given this Moment of Senior Sanity, our young leader relaxes a bit; steps back from the edge of the precipice and later resumes her campaign to change the world.
Perquisites come naturally - consistent with contribution, not as rewards necessarily, but to assist with future contributions. On the way up, you may desire the Perks of Leadership - thinking that they are rewards or recognition only. Of course, they serve that purpose - but more importantly, they provide the true leader "greater freedom to serve."
So, said the mentor, summarizing...
"Some leaders hold themselves too lightly and are not there for the victory. Some leaders put themselves above the enterprise, and self-destruct. Some see only the immediate business needs and must step back and take the larger and long view. Can you synthesize these examples and find the middle way?"
"Aha!" said the leader, "It's not only about me, it's about the enterprise. It's not only about the clients; it's also about the employee team and the community. This is the equation that the leader works on - moment to moment. Never solved, it is constantly evolving into a more perfect future."
Applications:
1. Personally
Recognize that your focus should be on the greater equation - "What's best for all concerned?" (And you're included in this equation too!) Don't let your hunger for the perks distract you. Rank and privilege must be earned before they're awarded.
2. At Home
Here's where a certain amount of self-sacrifice seems consistent with parenting. The thing won't work unless parents put themselves last... Yet, that private vacation and date night are the magic that balances/solves the equation.
3. As you progress at the office
Should the president fight his Secret Service Team for the "Honor of Taking the Bullet?" Perhaps as the perks start to come, you can graciously avail yourself of the driver, the couch, the larger space and the refrigerator to nourish your body and soul as you keep your eye on the larger context and take the company forward. Remember to breathe...
So, our advice? Serve your clients, your company, your family and yourself. Solve the ongoing equation and find the middle way.
Ahhh...just right!
